The quickest way to gauge someone’s cultural intelligence is to listen to them talk. I don’t mean we should go around policing politically correct language and I’m not really interested in labeling people as low CQ or high CQ. We all have moments when our cultural intelligence isn’t at its best. But language is one of the most tangible indicators of someone’s cultural intelligence.

Here are five phrases we need to eliminate, particularly when we’re in diverse, global contexts.

1. “That makes no sense.”

I hear people say this all the time—whether it’s managers reacting to a decision made by senior executives, a client questioning a new product feature, or teammates responding to others’ ideas. The more diversity in an interaction, the more likely we are to encounter things that seem downright illogical—to us. But these same ideas may be perfectly sensible to someone from a different culture and context.

What to do instead: Practice perspective taking to genuinely understand why something that seems illogical to you might make perfect sense to someone else. You may still end up confused but rather than immediately dismissing their perspective, their insights may provide you with perspectives you hadn’t considered.  

Try: “That makes no sense to me.” Or better yet, “Help me understand why you see it that way…”

2.  “Just be respectful!”

People repeatedly suggest that we should sum up cultural intelligence with one word: respect. I’m on board with respect as a driving objective for cultural intelligence but here’s where it gets tricky—what you consider respectful and what I consider respectful may be entirely different. For me, respect means showing up on time. For you, respect may mean stopping to acknowledge someone on your way to meet me rather than rushing past them.

What to do instead: Respect is a universal value, but its varied expressions between cultures often creates friction, especially on global teams. Culturally intelligent teams take the time to explicitly discuss what respect looks like—both individually and collectively. They establish norms that foster mutual respect while still achieving their goals.

Try:“What makes you feel respected?”

3. “I have a hard stop at 11 AM”

I’m often on calls with participants from multiple time zones, when someone announces they have to leave at a certain time—without considering that the stated time may mean nothing to the rest of the group. This may seem like a small detail, but it subtly signals a lack of other awareness. A similar thing happens when someone sends an email and says, “I’m available from 11-2.” Even if I know their time zone, I’m not sure whether they have already converted the time for me.

What to do instead: Stop to think about what time it is for others and acknowledge that in what you say. Saying you need to leave “at the top of the hour,” “in 20 minutes,” or at the very least, “At 11 AM my time” is a more culturally intelligent approach. It’s less about the accuracy of the statement and more about demonstrating awareness of others’ contexts.

Try:“I have a hard stop in 20 minutes.”

4. “None of them speak English.”

I live twenty minutes from Mexico. A neighbor recently told me he spent the weekend in a coastal community two hours south of us and he was surprised “no one spoke English” there. But why should they? It’s common, especially among native English speakers, to focus on others’ lack of English proficiency rather than acknowledging our own inability to speak a language. This is not only true among travelers; language differences are a frequent source of friction in many global organizations.

What to do instead: Instead of assuming others should speak our language, posture yourself as the one with the language deficit. When working with colleagues for whom English is not their native language, a little empathy toward the mental exhaustion that comes from communicating all day in their non-native tongue goes a long way.

Try:“I’m sorry. I don’t speak ___. Do you speak English?”

5. “You’re just wrong.”

This phrase usually comes from a place of frustration. Working with people who have entirely different values and work styles can be exhausting. When our patience runs low, we may blurt out a rigid judgment like this. There are certainly times when something is objectively wrong, but culturally intelligent individuals are slow to label someone as “wrong.”

What to do instead: Cultural intelligence begins with openness to perspectives different from our own. Instead of rushing to judgment, take the time to consider why something seems “right” to someone else and “wrong” to you. Perspective-taking doesn’t mean abandoning your own values, but it ensures your conclusions are informed rather than reactive.

Try: “Tell me more. I don’t understand.”

Cultural intelligence interrupts our impulse to label differences as weird, wrong, or nonsensible. It helps us move beyond our ethnocentric defaults to recognize that other perspectives, ways of thinking, and behaviors are not only normal for large groups of people but can also be sources of insight and inspiration. Replacing these low-CQ phrases with these more thoughtful alternatives allows us to bridge gaps and communicate with greater understanding.

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Do you lead a team? Check our the companion toolkit to Leading with Cultural Intelligence, a 75+ page workbook that includes a series of diagnostic, templates, and cheat sheets to help you apply cultural intelligence in the real world. Learn more here.